Best and Worst Premier League Kits + Matchweek 22 Preview

We take our annual look at who got that shit on fr fr, and who doesn't. Plus, picks for the Matchweek 22 slate.

Premier League Kits: Worst of the Worst

Let’s get the eye sores out of the way. Or take some comedic relief thinking about the designers that thought they did something special with these choices.

5. Nottingham Forest (All Kits)

Nothing off the charts offensive here, but they missed on all three attempts. The light blue and white color combo is nice, but the pattern is an injustice. The home kit, which seems easy to execute on with a simple palette of red and white, looks like a 10-year old hand me down for the freshman team full of the kids wearing Dick’s Sporting Goods shin guards that stretch from their ankle to the top of the knee. The flamingo pink and purple color combo is off the charts offensive — full retraction of the earlier statement.

4. Everton (Away) and Luton (Home) — Joint

Orange is out. Not sure if it was ever “in” to be honest. These Everton kits warrant another points deduction. Luton’s jerseys reflect the club’s financial strength, maybe they only paid Umbro $100 for the design. (Play Off note: I’m not that offended by Everton, but maybe that’s because my under-7 tee ball team used the Detroit Tigers’ color scheme).

3. Burnley (Away and Third)

Things haven’t changed from last year… yellow is tragic in most cases. Burnley are already facing an uphill battle as a promotion team, whose home colors almost mirror West Ham and Villa. And their second and third choices are these designs? Back to the Championship.

2. Fulham (Away and Third)

Fulham and Adidas were clearly trying to ride the Barbie wave here. Unlike the movie, which was an all-time hit, these kits flopped hard.

1. Arsenal (Away)

What the hell are we looking at here? Not sure highlighter yellow and blue, as a color combo, has worked with anything. Adidas, have some damn shame.

Premier League Kits: Best of the Best

5. Tottenham (Third)

Just a clean cut classic. Deep navy blue with some subtle trim always looks good. Play Off’s eyes would be popping’ like crazy in this kit.

4. West Ham (Away) and Manchester United (Third) — Joint

Some cleans whites (not racist). Not overly complicated design, while simultaneously not coming off looking like a recreational budget creation. Elegant with good trim. West Ham whiteout logo is intriguing.

3. Liverpool (Home)

Bit of an aura pick, innit. Liverpool’s home red kit remains such a clean and powerful look. That relentless red wave running at you again and again and again. Also, conveniently, the color red is most associated with socialism and communism, right Kloppo?

2. Crystal Palace (All Kits)

Last year’s kings fall to second, not really because of anything they failed to do… these kits are all wonderful. The away kits (blue and white) and third kits (black) are just exceptional. Hats off the Palace and Macron again.

1. Manchester City (Home and Away)

The pay-to-win mafia have done something special with these kits. You could argue Palace should take the throne again, but then we’re splitting hairs. The baby blue and white home kit is excellent. As the kids say: it’s giving Michael Jordan at UNC. Meanwhile, the white and maroon away kits are simply gorgeous — maybe Kyle Walker wears the home with his first family and the whites with his… *clears throat*… second family.

Matchweek 22 Picks

Nott’m Forest v Arsenal (Tuesday, January 30 – 2:30pm ET)

Chi Chi: Arsenal

Play Off: Arsenal

Reports saying Arteta is leaving at the end of the season? I mean seriously, can this guy do anything original? As for the match, Arsenal shouldn’t get caught looking ahead here and need to get all three points before welcoming Liverpool to the Emirates. Forest will be without a number of players, who are still away competing in AFCON and the Asia Cup. (Chi Chi)

I don’t believe in those reports at all. Arteta probably just wanted some attention. Or Sport was trying to deflect the refereeing crisis in Spain. Anyway, I don’t see a realistic chance of Nottingham getting points, even at home. (Play Off)

Fulham v Everton (Tuesday, January 30 – 2:45pm ET)

Chi Chi: Draw 

Play Off: Draw

Neither team is in great form at the moment. Fulham have been good at home and Everton have been good on the road this season. I can’t separate the two and don’t think they will separate themselves on the pitch either. (Chi Chi)

These sides have *almost* identical records and would, under normal law-abiding circumstances, be competing in a classic middle table fist fight. I’m gonna say an exciting 2-2 draw here. (Play Off)

Luton Town v Brighton (Tuesday, January 30 – 2:45pm ET)

Chi Chi: Luton

Play Off: Draw

Talk about a style clash, this could make for a fun game. The Luton Town Terrorists counter offensives have caught some of the big teams out by surprise. Physical focal points and pacey outlets have been an achilles heel for Brighton, Luton could feel this is an opportunity to take something from this game. (Chi Chi)

There’s a lot of momentum brewing at Kenilworth Road and, despite João Pedro’s penchant for scoring penalties, I fancy the Hatters to get a 1-1 draw in this match. (Play Off)

Crystal Palace v Sheff Utd (Tuesday, January 30 – 3:00pm ET)

Chi Chi: Draw

Play Off: Crystal Palace

This is something the CIA would make you watch as an interrogation method, and it could be classified as a human rights violation by the Geneva Convention. 0-0 draw, me thinks. (Chi Chi)

Both sides have won just once in their last 10 Premier League matches (1W, 3D, 6L), so this is a real barn burner. Palace have the lowest goals scored out of any side at home in the league, though they play the worst defensive side in the league. With a potential Olise return, I think Palace can edge out a win at home. (Play Off)

Aston Villa v Newcastle (Tuesday, January 30 – 3:15pm ET)

Chi Chi: Aston Villa

Play Off: Aston Villa

Aston Villa’s suicidal high line against Isak and Gordon is dangerous living. Newcastle are starting to show signs of life again with two wins in the FA Cup, despite falling victim to De Bruyne’s return to action. We know Villa are a force at home but feel like they’ve sputtered out a little bit, just one (1) goal in their last three games. Either way I don’t trust Newcastle defensively with Dubravka in goal. (Chi Chi)

Fun fact, Villa’s 0-0 draw with Everton was Unai EMery’s first goalless draw in the Premier League out of 97 matches (then they immediately drew Chelsea 0-0 in the FA Cup!). I anticipate some more goals in this one as Newcastle have conceded at least three goals in their past three PL matches. Gonna give the nod to Villa, but I will say again that I never have a clue when it comes to Newcastle. (Play Off)

Man City v Burnley (Wednesday, January 31 – 2:30pm ET)

Chi Chi: Manchester City

Play Off: Manchester City

This is the free bingo square this week. Sorry Burnley fans. (Chi Chi)

What Chi Chi said. (Play Off)

Spurs v Brentford (Wednesday, January 31 – 2:30pm ET)

Chi Chi: Draw

Play Off: Spurs

Ivan Toney made his return felt against Nottingham Forest. His presence will be a big boost for a Brentford team that was in the trenches. Spurs looked off it against City in the FA Cup, mustering just one (1) shot in the match. Spurs have at times have gifted opportunities to opponents and with Toney up front that could cost them. I think Brentford get out of this with something. (Chi Chi)

The Antonio Nusa match? Brentford just signed the 18-year old Norwegian, who has primarily played left wing at Club Brugge. Apparently Tottenham showed strong interest in the player but Fab has reported Brentford have agreed to $30m+ deal for the player already, and Nusa will join Brentford at the end of season in June. Maybe Spurs will have some extra motivation to show they didn’t need the reinforcement in the first place. By the way, when will the flow of talent out Norway become uncontrollable and take over the world? (Play Off)

Liverpool v Chelsea (Wednesday, January 31 – 3:15pm ET)

Chi Chi: Liverpool

Play Off: Draw

Carabao Cup preview and the first league game since Klopp’s announcing he will be stepping down at the end of the season. Good news for Liverpool is Robertson, Szoboszlai, and Trent all returned to action against Norwich on the weekend. The attack is still clicking, despite no Salah. Historically, Chelsea have been somewhat of a bogey team for Liverpool with their defensive strengths. Liverpool still are yet to beat another big 6 club this season, so now would be the perfect time. (Chi Chi)

These teams have drawn the last seven (!!) matches against each other. I am rooting for the anomaly to continue, though Liverpool Anfield and Klopp aura will probably get them a late winner. Or Jota will just put away every half chance he gets. (Play Off)

West Ham v AFC Bournemouth (Thursday, February 1 – 2:30pm ET)

Chi Chi: Draw 

Play Off: Bournemouth

Since beating United and Arsenal, West Ham are winless in their last four matches in all competitions. Bournemouth were humbled by Liverpool on the scoreline but probably didn’t deserve to lose 4-0. Another draw! (Chi Chi) 

Will we get a Kalvin Phillips start right away? The poor man has gone about his business, with little reward, for a year and a half at City, but now he has a chance at West Ham to revive his career. “Revive” in the sense of playing significant and important minutes. The dude won five trophies at City and started six games, which is hilarious to consider. Anyway, despite those musings… Bournemouth upset! (Play Off)

Wolves v Man Utd (Thursday, February 1 – 3:15pm ET)

Chi Chi: Wolves

Play Off: Wolves

Marcus Rashford is the latest United star to be causing issues off the field. Called in sick after a night out and Ten Hag said he will “deal with it internally.” We all know what that means: training with the u9 girls until Rashford gives a public apology. Wolves have been a nightmare at home for the big 6 clubs so far this season. Neto back to fitness is also a huge boost. Neighbors are going to call the cops on me the way I’m going to be howling on Thursday. Wolves! (Chi Chi)

Everyone tell United how proud they are of them for defeating Newport. Despite that triumphant victory, there’s a total lack of confidence in this United team, plus a nice bit of Rashford party drama, and a Wolves team that hasn’t lost in its last seven matches (all comps)... I like a Wolves win. Also, apparently United fined Rashford $650,000, which is like two weeks of wages for Rashford. Oh, how sad. (Play Off)

!!! Content of the Week !!!

New segment alert!!! Going forward, each week we will try to include a fun or interesting or crucially important piece of content. This segment will probably consist mostly of funny and one-off content we see, but it provides some flexibility to include other notable content we feel obligated to share. Hope you enjoy! To kick this off, here’s two entries:

• James Milner Degree of Separation

  • Sorry for the Twitter link, wish we could embed. This felt like good timing since James Milner now has the second-most appearances in Premier League history — he needs 20 more to tie Gareth Barry. Anyway, someone proposed to their Twitter audience: list absurdly random players and I’ll tell you how quickly you could get a direct playing connection to James Milner. It’s amazing to read through the replies.

• Liverpool vs. Norwich — FA Cup Fourth Round (ESPN FC)

  • Skip to 5:26 and watch as the behind-the-goal pole saves a man from death. Or at the very least a brutal concussion. Dude didn’t have a worry in the world.

Tubby’s Bets

• Nottingham Forest +1.25 (-110)

• Fulham-Everton DRAW (+236)

• Newcastle-Aston Villa: Under 3 (+100)

• Chelsea-Liverpool: Over 3 (-135)

• Liverpool -1 (-110)

• Tottenham -1 (+105)

• Crystal Palace-Sheffield DRAW (+283)

• Brighton-Luton: Under 3 (-115)

• Bournemouth-West Ham: Under 3 (-125)

• Bournemouth-West Ham DRAW (+271)

• Wolves-United DRAW (+257)

Tubby has completed his rehabilitation program and is officially back.

Let us know if we missed any good or bad kits, in your opinion, in the comments and we can have a healthy debate. You can follow along with us on YouTube, (Chi Chi Football) Twitter (@ChiChiMemes), and Instagram (@chichimemesfc) throughout the weekend and season. Good luck to everyone’s clubs this weekend except for Chelsea.